Parenting can feel so much less isolating when you get to do it with friends, but what happens when you find you aren’t totally aligned in parenting style?
If your friend does point out your differences, you can tell them your reasoning for not allowing your child to participate. Everyone is doing what they think is best for their child, and what is best for one may not be for the other.
For toddlers, it is not quite that simple. When they see a child doing something that they can’t do, it can be confusing and frustrating for them. That doesn’t mean you need to bend your parenting choices. You are going to stand firm in your decision. This shows your child that you mean what you say, but you can validate their frustration to honor that you understand their frustrations.
How to actually respond:
- Acknowledge what the other child is doing: “I see that Charlie is (insert activity) and you really want to do it too”
- Acknowledge that different families have different rules: “That is something that Charlie and his family do and that's okay. For our family, we have decided we aren’t going to do that.”
- Provide an alternative activity: “Instead of doing (insert activity), how about we (insert acceptable activity)?”
You are sticking to what is right for your family, and you are respecting that your friend has different rules for their family. This is also teaching your toddler to embrace and welcome people who live different lives than them. You are also providing them with redirection so they aren’t stuck in their big emotion while watching their friend do something. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but once you do it you might find a sense of peace and control over the situation you are in.
